June 2026: Do You Love Those Who Hate You?

Published on 06/01/2026 by Dr-Shirley-Cheng.

When someone "slaps" you, do you find it hard to turn the other cheek?

How about to even love the one who slapped you?

Our Lord Jesus doesn't give us difficult things to do that he himself doesn't do. For every talk he talked, he also walked it. He not only turned the other cheek, but even gave his life as a ransom for God's enemies (Romans 5:10). As his disciples, we are called to walk as he walked, to not only love those who love us but more so to love those who despise us.

Clarifying Teaching Regarding Our Enemies

"But I tell you, love your enemies" (Matthew 5:44a, WEB)

The last clarifying teaching that Jesus presented concerns our enemies: "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you, that you may be children of your Father who is in heaven." (Matthew 5:43-45)

Yahweh God exhorted Israel to love their neighbor (Leviticus 19:18). Israel narrowed down "neighbors" to their close associates or their own people, thinking that this gave them the leeway to hate their enemies. But hating our enemies is contrary to what God taught. Jesus pointed out that God exhorted us to love our enemies, as instructed in Exodus 23:4-5, which says, "If you meet your enemy's ox or his donkey going astray, you shall surely bring it back to him again. If you see the donkey of him who hates you fallen down under his burden, don't leave him, you shall surely help him with it."

How should we treat our enemies? We are to bless them, do good to them, and pray for them, as Jesus said, "But I tell you who hear: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you." (Luke 6:27-28)

a) "Blessing" your enemies does not mean that you approve of what they did. If, for example, your acquaintance gossiped about you behind your back, you shouldn't bless them for their sin. What you should do is to speak with them and firmly rebuke them for what they did. "Tough love" or disciplinary love is how you "bless" your enemies; it leads them on to the right path in life if they wisely heed your correction.

Correction is precious. While we don't like being corrected, Christian rebuke leads to righteousness: "All chastening seems for the present to be not joyous but grievous; yet afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been exercised thereby." (Hebrews 12:11)

You may be asking yourself, "But don't turning the other cheek and rebuking someone for wronging you contradict each other?" The answer is "No." Turning the other cheek is about restraining yourself from taking revenge, holding no grudge against the other person, and even forgiving the person, while trusting God to take care of the situation however He deems fit.

Continuing with our example above, if someone gossiped about you, you'd turn the other cheek by not spreading rumors about that person or complaining to people how terrible that person is. Instead, you keep your head high in dignity, letting your blameless way of life speak for you. However, this doesn't mean you condone the wrongdoing. Knowing that it is wrong and wanting to help the person repent, you'd meet that person privately and rebuke them, not out of spite, but out of love. This is how you bless them: to help them return to God in humility.

b) "Doing good" to those who mistreat you means: "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat. If he is thirsty, give him water to drink: for you will heap coals of fire on his head, and Yahweh will reward you." (Proverbs 25:21-22)

We should never repay evil with evil, only with good: "Don't be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21) In other words, we should never take revenge, for vengeance belongs to Yahweh: "Don't seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God's wrath. For it is written, 'Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.'" (Romans 12:19)

By doing good to those who are unkind to us, we are in effect heaping coals on their heads. This thought is interpreted various ways. I believe it means that our good deeds will shame our enemies into red-faced guilt and convict them of their sins against us. If nothing else, for our goodness, Yahweh will reward us.

Wrongdoing should be left to wrongdoers only. As followers of Christ, it is better for us to be wronged than to wrong others, even when we feel tempted to justify "an eye for an eye" in our interpersonal relationships. Of course, if an actual crime was committed against you, then take the case to the authorities. Do not take matters into your own hands in such a situation.

c) "Praying" for your enemies is when you sincerely pray to God, asking Him to help open their eyes "that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive remission of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in [Christ]." (Acts 26:18)

At this point, we need to understand that our enemies are not the same as God's enemies. Our enemies may just be people we do not like, or who do not like us. Regardless of their sins against us, they and we are on the same footing before God: sinners in need of salvation.

On the other hand, God's enemies are our true enemies. They are those who sin repeatedly without repentance and who utterly despise God in their hearts. Ultimately, it's God who labels them as His enemies, not us. One prime example is the devil, the ultimate foe of God. He is therefore never our friend, and we must always be on guard against him.

Another example is the Canaanites whose wickedness kept increasing so God cursed them. Hence, Israel had to take orders from God to punish the Canaanites severely for their many sins. They could not show them any mercy if they did not repent. They therefore had to treat God's enemies differently from their own enemies. Likewise, we have to treat God's enemies differently from how we treat our own enemies. Yet, unless we know explicitly that someone is an enemy of God, we must presume that they are just our enemy and thus treat them according to the principles that Christ laid down for us.

Being Like Our Father in Heaven

Why should we love our enemies? So we can be the children of God, who "makes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust." (Matthew 5:45)

Jesus asked his disciples some thought-provoking questions: "For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Don't even the tax collectors do the same? If you only greet your friends, what more do you do than others? Don't even the tax collectors do the same? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:46-48)

Similarly, Jesus said in the sermon on the plain, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive back as much. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing back; and your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind toward the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, even as your Father is also merciful." (Luke 6:32-36)

We should love our enemies in order to be as perfect as our Father in heaven. Being perfect is about spiritual perfection, which includes showing mercy. God is gracious and merciful to both the righteous and the wicked, to both the thankful and the ungrateful, equally blessing them with life's necessities and goodness such as food, rain and sunshine. He gives everyone plenty of chances to repent. He wants no one to perish in their sins.

Loving our enemies fulfills the second greatest commandment: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:31) Our "neighbor" is anyone else besides ourselves, so it includes our "enemies." Nearly all other principles in life are based on this commandment (e.g., don't steal, don't cheat, don't murder, don't commit adultery, etc.). For example, if we don't like others to gossip about us, then we shouldn't gossip about others. In other words, we should follow the golden rule: "As you would like people to do to you, do exactly so to them." (Luke 6:31)

Loving our enemies shows that we are God's children: "...everyone who loves is born of God, and knows God. He who doesn't love doesn't know God, for God is love. By this God's love was revealed in us, that God has sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son as the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, if God loved us in this way, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:7-11)

This passage tells us mainly two important things:

a) Yahweh God is the very representation of love. To be like our Heavenly Father, we must show love to one another. They say, "like mother, like daughter" or "like father, like son." Can we be like our Father when we do not love?

b) Yahweh let His one and only Son die for us in order to wash away our sins, so that our relationship with God can be made right again. Jesus' sacrifice gives every person an equal opportunity to receive eternal life with God after a future resurrection of all the dead. But what kind of people did Jesus die for? Murderers, liars, cheaters, adulterers, among others--yes, humans have been all these and more. Not a single person deserves God's grace--no, not even one. We are all sinners. After all, when was the last time you told a lie or harbored anger against someone in your heart? So "if God loved us in this way," can we not also love one another?

Loving our enemies is how we love meaningfully. If we love only those who are good to us, what credit is that to us? Even the hated dishonest tax collectors and the worst of sinners did that, as Jesus pointed out. Our Christian calling calls us to do beyond what the world does. The world loves who loves it and hates who hates it. But we are to love and do good to those who love us as well as to those who hate us. When we do, the greatest reward awaits us: eternal fellowship with Yahweh God and Jesus our Lord!

Are you becoming as perfect as your Father in heaven? Obviously, perfection is unattainable overnight, nor can it be achieved by our own strength. But the more you seek after God, the more you rely on Him and the more you obey His Word, the closer you'll be to perfection. Pray that God will steadily sanctify you till He perfects you, and He will, so long as you walk in step with Him!


~*~ Q & A with Dr. Shirley ~*~

Question: Does God let us make our own decisions? Why does He allow us to make bad decisions even when He knows they can harm us or others?

Answer: Most of the time, God does allow us to make our decisions, the good ones, the bad ones and the ugly ones. Our poor decisions can cost not only our own lives but also the lives of others, even for many generations after us. The prime example is the decision of Adam and Eve; they decided to disobey God, so the curses of death, hard work, difficult and painful childbirths, and difficult farming have passed down to all of us for countless generations after them.

Does God know what will happen following our decisions? He absolutely does. He knows every possible outcome of every possible situation. The apostle Peter informed us that God had already foreordained Jesus as the sacrificial Lamb before the world began (1 Peter 1:19-20), so God knew that Adam and Eve were going to sin and He had everything prepared beforehand.

Why does God allow our bad decisions? It boils down to mainly two reasons.

First, He gives us free will. Free will is the freedom to make our moral decisions. Without free will, we would be like robots or computers that operate without personal independence. God has free will, and so He grants us free will. This is one aspect of being made in His image. If He controlled our decisions, if He stopped us from making our bad decisions, then that would cancel out or void our free will. You cannot have free will when you cannot truly exercise it. So He permits us to do what we want, even though a lot of the time, He does not approve of our choices. We sometimes make terrible choices.

Second, God wants a genuine relationship with us, and part of it is achieved by how we exercise our free will. The way we exercise our free will shows whether or not we love God. If we love Him, we would obey Him and make good choices that are in line with His precepts and principles laid out in His Word. If we hate Him, we wouldn't care about heeding Him.

All the trials we face in life test our love for and faith in God. Like in a friendship or marriage, if your friend or spouse tells you they love you, but doesn't do things in your best interest, then it just shows they don't care much about you. A lot of people confess faith in God. They attend churches, give tithes, and pray many prayers, while their hearts are far from Him. God condemned such lip service in the Bible (e.g., Isaiah 1).

The Bible, the Holy Spirit and prayers are everything we need to live righteously and to make good decisions. Of course, some decisions are still difficult to make. For example, we do not receive a specific blueprint for each of our lives, such as which place we should work at, where to move to, and whom to marry. But as long as we do not make decisions that blatantly go against God's revealed will, and when we prayerfully make our decisions, then we need to leave the outcome to God.

God is never taken by surprise. He is omniscient, meaning He's all-knowing. As long as you trust in Him at all times, and rely on the Bible and prayers for your decision-making, God will look after you, even when you run into issues.

Some of our decisions are so costly that we may never recover from the consequences in this lifetime. The truth is, every cause has an effect, and we simply have to own up to our decisions. Some decisions are made with the best intent but still turned out poorly because as the book of Ecclesiastes says, chance and misfortune can strike anyone (Ecclesiastes 9:11-12). No one is immune from misfortune in this fallen world. But as long as God is with you, He will give you the endurance to face it.

And there are bad decisions we deliberately make against God's revealed will in the Bible. When that happens, we simply reap what we sow, and we must repent of our willful sins so our poor choices will not result in eternal repercussions.

In the end, no matter how our decisions turn out, God's ultimate will is going to be achieved. We know what His general will is for His people: an eternal inheritance with Him and His Son in His coming Kingdom. That should be our main and ultimate focus. We're simply passing through this life as pilgrims, so we're warned of not being too attached to this world, as everything is passing away. Only a sacred relationship with God is going to last, so we should cultivate it, and not get stuck in the past or wallow in sorrow for our bad decisions when we have already repented of any sins we've committed.


~*~ Dr. Shirley's News Flash ~*~

I've released an e-study guide for the book of Genesis titled, "Study of Genesis of the Holy Scriptures: The Beginning of Sin and Dawn of Redemption." It is suitable for both personal and group study. Grab a copy for yourself or a friend at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FXY6M18Z

Proceeds will go to Unite in Love to support our brethren.

Unite in Love - Hope and Healing for Families:
https://gofundme.com/f/uniteinlove37

Do you have Bible questions and want answers? Contact Dr. Shirley and she'll be happy to answer your questions by the grace of God.

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